What is it about meeting celebrities that turns a perfectly normal, intelligent person into a blubbering idiot who can’t string together a coherent thought? For the longest time, I thought I was immune to such behavior. I was always flabbergasted when my friends would burst into tears or start hyperventilating when they got within 100 feet of their favorite celebrities (“Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmyfrickinggod!!”). After all, aren’t celebrities are just normal people (who happen to make a lot more money than we do)? They still get gassy and occasional gastrointestinal distress after Taco Bell like the rest of us. Then I met my first food celebrity and was reduced to a stuttering pile of stupid. And again with my second, and my third, and…sigh. It is starting to become a habit, but hey, it’s not like I’m a food writer. It’s not like I NEED to be able to talk to famous food people. No biggie. Here are the highlights from my hall of shame when it comes to meeting food celebrities. Some I have frightened, some I have pissed off, and a few I’ve hidden from. Definitely not my proudest moments, that’s for damn sure. Food celeb: Charlie Trotter Who the hell is that? Famous Chicago chef and restaurateur, owns Charlie Trotters, Trotters to Go in Chicago,and Restaurant Charlie along with Bar Charlie in Las Vegas. What happened: I incorrectly rang up his purchase from his take out store by forgetting to scan two bottles of expensive wine. Oh, and he found the one minute scrap of paper on the floor that I had missed while cleaning. Awesome. Food celeb: Grant Achatz Who the hell is that? Famous Chicago molecular gastronomy chef, chef and owner of Alinea, and currently one the leaders of molecular gastronomy in the U.S. and World. OH yeah, and Alinea was named top restaurant of the year by Gourmet Magazine in 2006. And he wrote an innovative cookbook. No biggie. What happened: I dined at Alinea two days before my wedding, and went down to the kitchen afterwards to meet Mr. Achatz (this was literally a few days after the Gourmet article came out). I vaguely remember my husband talking to Mr. Achatz, and I believe I pushed out a “HiIlikeyouCongratsonGourmetYou’reCool.” but I basically just stood there with my jaw on the ground and smiling a bit too awkwardly. I met one of the most talented, promising young chefs of our time, a Chicagoan no less, and I’m pretty sure he thought I was a mute. I’m just saying. Food celeb: Dale Levitski Who the hell is that? The runner-up from Top Chef season 3, Chicago chef, friends with Stephanie, my favorite Top Chef contestant EVER. What happened? He cooks every Thursday at a local bar, and I ate there last night. Met him. What I really wanted to say was “Hey Dale. You are cool. I like you and I like Stephanie, and I really think the three of us should be friends and eat bacon and drink beers together. Cool?” But that seemed utterly stalker-esque, so instead, I got an awkward photo with him (see above). Dale, if you are reading this, I do think you kick-ass, and would love to break bacon with you. Let’s chat. Readers, would love any suggestions for good ice breakers with food celebs! And one day, I promise to grow a pair and talk to food celebrities like they are normal people. Until then, at least I have some good stories. ~LTG!
