- Goodbye jelly doughnuts, hello blood sugar meter. Ah, the joys of pregnancy.
- diabetic blood sugar kit from Crestock High Quality Images
So I’m pretty sure my unborn child is entirely against my culinary happiness. Hear me out on this one.
For the first four months of pregnancy, I had severe nausea. I’m talking puking morning till night, so doped up on reglan and zofran all I could do is sleep and shove a few crackers down my throat the few minutes I was awake. Culinary happiness? Around -10.
When I finally regained control of my Linda-Blair-esque stomach pyrotechnics, months 4-6, I had a ridiculous appetite. More than your average, I’m pregnant and want to eat everything-appetite. More like, I just ate an entire Thanksgiving dinner and yet I feel empty sort of deal. Which might sound like its fun, but it made me feel uncomfortably full, and even worse–it packed on many, many, many pounds. Culinary happiness? -5.
To those of you who say, you are pregnant! Enjoy it and eat what you want! Um, who the hell is gonna be stuck losing all that weight after I eat all that I want? That would be me. Awesome.
Now I’m in month 7, and I get bitch slapped with a diagnosis of gestational diabetes. Which means? No sugar. No baking. No eating for pleasure period–just tiny needles that hurt my finger tips and constant tracking of what I shove down my pie hole. Culinary Happiness back at -10. Sure, it is just for three months, and things could always be worse (I could be on bed rest, or an alien could pop out of my stomach a la the last scene in Space Balls), but come on. Ride the pity train with me.
So three months from now, you will find a very exhausted me strapped next to a tiny new beautiful bundle of joy–an almond frangipane croissant from Tartine Bakery. And maybe a new baby.
~LTG
Tags: B, Bakery, blood sugar meter, dinner, eating, extreme nausea, gestational diabetes, hyperemesis, pregnancy, space balls, tiny needles
