Dear Random Guy who bought me three Tootsie Roll Pops when I found out that 7-11 has a $2 minimum purchase fee on debit cards and I refused to buy $1.25 more in merchandise, Thank you for restoring my faith in humanity. You certainly didn’t look like you could afford to throw 75 cents to wind, and you were quite nice about the whole event, and for that, I thank you, good sir. Plus, I really wanted those Tootsie Roll Pops. I hand selected them from a box placed very close to the floor, which was hard on my back and also made it difficult to avoid the dreaded chocolate flavor. Seriously, who wants a Tootsie Roll surrounded by fake-tasting chocolate, huh? HUH? So thank you, thank you, thank you! I felt like I needed to pass on this good food karma, so while at the local Trader Joe’s grocery store, I splurged for a stranger and bought some fancy-ass Niman Ranch artisan bacon. So the person turned out to be a vegan…with a severe physically allergy to pork products, and not to mention a strict Jew. Can’t blame a bitch for trying. Here’s to hoping you have random free food bestowed upon you today! ~LTG!
