On the left, my budding basil plants, healthy and happy. On the right, what happens after a fat-ass animal rapes my basil crop--pure destruction.
Dear Mr. Skunk/Squirrel/Rabbit/Possum/Really Flexible Deer that could jump a 7 foot fence,
Thanks for raping my budding basil plant–the first plants I ever grew from seed since 4th grade science class. Thanks for waiting until my basil just big enough, just hearty enough for me to gaze at it longingly, thinking of future caprese salads and pestos, practicing patience so I could make it sure it got as large as possible and then–boom. Your fat ass took it all. Awesome. Thanks for that.
No really, I get it. I really do. You have a hard life being a wild animal. You get to be naked all the time in public and NOT get arrested, you can use the bathroom pretty much anywhere you like, and all of your food you have to kill or steal from someone else. You must be exhausted.
More letter and photos on how to save your plants from animal rape after the jump.
